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Toasted Tomato Sandwich - You Suck at Cooking (episode 79)


  • Published on: 2018-08-07
  • [Music] the toasted tomato sandwich brings us back to a simpler time a time before smart phones and satellites a time before algebra and toilets back when things were easy a time when character was built from hard work and hard knocks out in the country where Tomatoes come from and that's where this sandwich begins in a field with the simple tomato if you've never had a freshly picked filled tomato well you're missing out and if you don't have a filled with tomatoes growing in it you can get them at a roadside stand next thing you'll need is whole wheat bread which starts with whole wheat wraps them up inside burlap and leave it under the strong crisp light of the moon for three lonely nights tie up the end then sell it to your neighbor as a pillow then use that money to buy a loaf of whole wheat bread that you can call your own now take that bread fix it to a skewer and under the light of the hot afternoon Sun gingerly place it into your 500 watt galvanized steel Knick Rome wire lateral current low impedance split phase omnidirectional quad voltage wide arc triple coil toasting machine by an 8,000 horsepower truck and plunge it all the way down until your toast is golden from the power of heat and fresh country air now spread that toast with full fat mayo squeezed from the thaws oh love a Hercules plant until it's exactly a quarter of a half inch thick slice your Tomatoes with a freshly sharpened blade forged from a hunk of carbon stainless meteorite iron then lay the mom with care at dawn wander on down to a nearby saltwater stream and collect one of Earth's most precious minerals rhodium and trade it for an equal amount of salt then sprinkle that onto the tomatoes harvest fresh peppercorns then smash them with your spike in rail and spread them on to the sandwich generously put the second piece of mayonnaise slathered toast on top and slice your toasted tomato sandwich into 23.0 Vella grams while quietly acknowledging the presence of the Illuminati then take your sandwich out into the yard into the corn then through the woods down a lonely road and across the beans out into the country where the bales lay still and take a quiet moment to recognize that you're toasted tomato sandwich has become soggy that you should have eaten it immediately when the toast was crisp but you had to walk around like a show-off and now you're paying the price tell yourself you'll do better next time out here in the country where Tomatoes come from you
  • Runtime: 03:31
  • toasted tomato sandwich, toast, tomato, sandwich, how to, tutorial, chef, recipe, cooking, you suck at cooking, ysac, funny, comedy, farm, country

COMMENTS: 100

  • You Suck At Cooking

    Tweet the tomato: https://ctt.ac/RrUe7 F book the tomato: https://hrefshare.com/ca0e8

  • StarQuise Mav

    I thought he was gunna plug the toaster into the stump lmao nah jk lol

  • StarQuise Mav

    People eat those you know that right? Lol....this isn’t all that far fetched lol....

  • Cheese

    At 2:38 when he says “acknowledge the presence of the Illuminati” and if you use captions it all goes distorted. Now that’s some attention to detail 👌

  • John Meyer

    I wasn't able to sell the pillow. Now what? It's getting dark and I'm still hungry. Yeah illuminatae. Mooches ate my tomato! Do you realize how many days this recipe takes? The average schlep just doesn't have time for this. I'm thinking "Shark Tank"!

  • DinChild

    This is absolutely brilliant. Holy shit.

  • Bella Rana

    i love this but am somewhat appalled by the lack of garlic in this video. have made this sandwich for years every summer when our tomatoes are ripe and we always rub both slices of toast generously with raw garlic before slathering with mayo (hint: it's delicious)

  • Cin

    so mayo tomato mayo salt pepper. and the power of the fucking sun

  • Blueberry

    Whole wheat bread has never looked more appetizing.

  • Blue Banz

    Eww no one like that🇲🇦🇱🇺🇱🇧🇱🇦🇱🇦🇲🇱🇱🇦🇱🇰🇱🇺

  • Aori

    Can we get an episode on Sushi? Probably not. But I wish.

  • Phoebe He

    YSAC clipped his finger nails wayy too short... also I can't believe you just taught us to stick a fork in the toaster wow

  • Ceciliana Richardson

    Is anyone else really really wondering who he is and then feeling sad because he'll probably never tell?J-just me?Okay..

  • Sc6ut

    I just made me one after this video and my god, that was so delicious.

  • FoxLP

    You have 1 mil subs now? I didnt notice

  • -Nugget -

    Stop making me hungry daddy 😭😭for that DICK MHHMM❤️❤️🍆💦YEAHHHHH M❤️❤️🍆🍆💦HMM❤️

  • Kait_the_cake

    I was hoping another one of your videos popped up. The best cooking videos, in my opinion.

  • APT-REX

    In a time when kids and people died a lot(mostly kids) and everything sucked

  • Harper

    i was waiting for a country song at the end there

  • mikkel thybo

    Because out here there's only you and your pickup truck, a 6 pack of bud light, your AR-15, 3 migrant workers and their kids combing the wheat fields.. You tweet about how hard it is to get a job on your Iphone X.. Jeebers replies with a thumbs down?!? Dang it Jeebers! Why do you have to act like a liberal?! Must've been because your dad is also your uncle or maybe because you didn't show for class at the christian public school.. That Jeebers.. to stupid to know the earth is flat.

  • Fabian Contreras

    I’ve never been here in this Channel. I do suck at cooking and the bread joke...yeah you got a sub

  • SlyFox

    i feel like i went on a journey and all he did was make a tomato sandwich

  • Cas

    this made me crave the most basic sandwich

  • Avery L.

    A place far away from the opening ysac theme song.

  • bluesnake198

    The first 30 seconds sounds like a grocery store commercial.

  • Nobody_at_all 1

    I don't have a 500 watt galvanized thingy, can I just use my standard, 500 year old toaster?

  • Paul Moody

    What’s the name of the song? Would love to play this

  • Gigi Alegria

    1,032 people didn't eat their sandwich while it was crisp

  • yaaa Gg

    bro im high aff and im laughing hardd smms

  • At justweed*dot*ig instagram Alex

    These have become full blown masterpieces and you could easily make advertisements and highly paid prestigious content. This is fantastic.

  • Danny Hodge

    This may be my favorite video you've done, well played

  • seatoast

    this sandwich has me crying in the club

  • leftlanekennels

    Actually i been makythat for year only it was like a grill cheese with tomato and mayo black pepper that’s good eating

  • evelyn bent

    And take a quite moment to recognise that your toasted tomato sandwich has become soggy, and you should of eaten it immediately when the toast was crisp

  • μsique

    I showed this to my mom who didn't realize what this channel was about until she reached the "peppercorns" bit

  • tires2burn

    I'm watching this and looking at a tomato looking at me. I'm tired of wondering what to do with my tomato. Thanks for the inspiration.

  • Ultracity6060

    Yeah, out in the country, but _what_ country? Moldova? Japan? I think it looked like Japan.

  • J.D. Lancelot

    Funny how 99% of these ppl don't realize this is a repost

  • KelseyRainbow

    This was the most relaxing video I’ve ever watched thanks

  • Oskar

    please never stop doing videos