Testing Crazy Medieval Treatments
- Published on: 2018-10-10
- - Today we go medieval on your teeth! - Let's talk about that. (fire blasts) Good Mythical Morning! if you are the lucky winner to receive the Golden Tee of Mythicality. dragons or ogres or prairie dogs, medieval people. - Yes but it turns out that they exercise a lot of ingenuity to tidy up. Yes, we've tracked down some very real medieval hygiene rituals and assembled to see how well they work. so here's how they got mega purty. to suck out your tainted blood. Okay this isn't advanced stuff here. - We pray thee to fare us well, - [Rhett And Link] Round one. - The Trotula. - Which we have studied extensively. - Got some charcoal here. All right, that's pretty good. Okay. - What do we do now? and rub the walnut shells on your teeth. what they were talking about. We have figured out that this is the rind to rub against your teeth, It's got some grooves. - There's some abrasiveness to it. (moans) - There's no way to get at everything. (grunts) - My mouth isn't big enough. in the medieval. He's a small-mouth man! He can't fit a walnut shell in there! (chuckles) He's going to die of the black mouth! It's too small! Let him try, laugh at him. with warm wine mixed with salt. Some chalices? - Mm. In the north! Swish harder. lovage or parsley for fresh breath. - So is this fennel, lovage or parsley? I think it's parsley. There you go. We got plenty, man. - I'm going to stick it in my small mouth! - Woo, that is aromatic! - You shouldn't swallow, right? (Link coughing) It's just a garnish. - How's my teeth now? - Oh, mm, I don't wanna eat your breath. Blow your breath at me. - Oh gosh, that's, just smell it, man. - I'm tasting it. is 80% of the nose. 80% of smell is taste. - Eat mine. - There's something beyond the parsley. - Why are you leaning back so far? is from early this morning (chuckling). - So you like it? - No, but the parsley helps a little bit. Helps me be able to take it. - Yeah, it worked. - [Rhett And Link] Round two. it was considered beautiful for women to have high foreheads. Mm, much like mine! And much like these lovely ladies. - [Rhett] Wow. - [Link] Yes. - [Rhett] Hold me back. - That's right, it'd be too much. and you guessed it, dried cat dung. - And of course we have (groans). - [Rhett] Who's cat? - [Together] Josh's cat? - Oh gosh, I haven't even met Josh's cat Okay, according to historical records, the cat's dung was quote, hard and dried, and anointed on the place. (chuckles) I don't know what place. - The hairline. - So we're gonna get scientific and then apply this to ourselves. - Oh gosh. - Yeah you do the crushing. I'm not even gonna put the gloves on. You know what, I will put the gloves on. Yeah so just crush it up with a mortar (mortar thumping) work at Medieval Times do this? - Yeah and putting it on the forehead. Have you ever looked at their foreheads? Have you ever been to a Medieval Times? - Heck yeah, I've even been to like the knock-off Medieval Times. - This is mushy, it's not-- - You're telling me you haven't been? - I've never been, no. but you know what, it's just a sign that you're a clean-mouthed man. (chuckles) Nobody's complaining about that. - Oh gosh. Add some vinegar to this. Your cat's got some issues. Okay, okay. - Or I don't wanna breathe it in either. There's a disease that comes in cat crap that makes you like cats I think. - Yes, it makes you become a cat lady. Like a crazy cat lady. - I need to stay away from that. Do not let me breathe that in. I gotta keep my cat hate going. - All right. - Gosh, now we have to put it on our arms? - [Link] We've made it. yet we're about to put it on our arms which would still be touching. - Just don't even think about it. at Medieval Times. - Gosh. - Yeah I'm happy to be here. - You dropped some right there. - I've always been a horse lover. (crew groaning) - Oh gosh! in the medieval period. - Yeah! - This is stupid. I'm quitting. - Hey, this is about testing, listen, people used to do this. - I'm out, man. I am out. - Don't you wanna be a hot lady? (crew laughs) All right now-- - It's hot lady juice. - [Rhett] Okay it's somewhat drier. I've got cat dung on my forearm! In the anointed place. - I've got cat dung on the anointed place. of this hair right here on my forearm. - Here, put it in here, man. - I'm just waiting for you to remove it 'cause I'm not gonna do it for ya. - The next step is, woof-- - That's a long towel. (Link groans) - Do it, man! (Rhett snorts) All of that for nothing! All of the hair is still there, man. - I tried, ladies. but I didn't let it dry long enough. Oh gosh! Now I have a cat dookey rag. (crew moaning) - [Rhett And Link] Round three. What do you do now? There were no laundromats and there were no stain sticks either. - Oh no. They had something much better. To get out stains from dirty laundry, and urine which also makes total sense. - I know what you're thinking. Yes, we found some ashes. - Here they are. so we did it ourselves. - This is mine. Mine's more like a grapefruit juice - I've been drinking sand again. (Link chuckles) - Oh gosh, desperate times I guess. - Do I need to be worried? - Drink more water, man. I always say stay hydrated. Now I'm gonna take some of this, I'm gonna make use of this pestle here. - Yeah get 'em kinda fine there. (mortar thumping) - You know pharmacists do this. "You just count pills. "prescriptions." - Do some drug! what ratio do you wanna go? - I have a feeling if this worked, people would still be doing it. - I should be gloved up as well. - So we've got a little baby shirt here. Some baby's been into the marinara. - My baby got into Briar Patch. He's still there but I got his shirt. - That's not blood, it's sauce. - Yeah it's marinara. - Smells like cat poop. Oh I'm sorry, that's just the cat poop. - You holding your breath? - One to one? for the rest of this-- - It's sterile, man. Urine's sterile. Oh gosh, it's so gross! Don't mix those tops up. We wouldn't want that. - Save some of that for later. Okay so I guess we're just going to-- But this is what they did, okay? Oh gosh it stinks. This is actually how people washed things. Why add actual dirt? - And they didn't live past 38. - Undulate. - Put it on the undulate setting, baby. And meet me in the laundry room. (chuckling) - Okay, here we go. Let's see how clean it is. - Wow! (crew chuckling) Come here, Charlie! - Take it right out of the urine, put it right on little Charlie. - I mean if you rinsed that. Here, rinse it with some more urine. Rinse it with your coffee cup. - I got some LaCroix. - Yeah, let's. They had LaCroix in the-- - [Rhett] Oh, what? They'd probably go for it. - Oh man. Me too. (Rhett laughs) - Actually I was born a year later. - Yeah, you were, 1978. - It happens quite a bit. - You know what time it is. - Heather! - There's cat turds all under that hat. All under that bandana, I know it! Click the top link to the Mythical studio.
- Runtime: 00:15
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